were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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