Swine flu. Run for my life!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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