I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Edward fifth and chaser hands
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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