Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
