Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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