I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
