I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize