I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
