honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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