I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
