I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
