Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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