so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
