After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
