she smelled like a LAN party
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
