I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
