Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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