PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
