Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
