Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
