I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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