Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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