Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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