This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
