he looks like a really good dad on facebook
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
