A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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