I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
