just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
