So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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