C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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