Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
