I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
