Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
did you just send me my own nude
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
