I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just found a bag of teeth...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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