I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
