I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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