I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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