Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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