Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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