They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
