There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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