he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
