wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
one might say we're banned from that church
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
3pm strippers are depressing
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
