Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
