If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sorry about my life...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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