Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
