So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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