yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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