There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
