The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
