sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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