Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
