i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
